Tag Archives: Self love

And Still…Rest.

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Love…that thing that eludes.

Love…that thing that runs in the other direction when approached.

Love…that thing that desperately wants to be captured, held, even squeezed as tightly as possible.

Is it love? Is it? Truly?

Is it validation?

Validation?

Validation.

Validation. To know that we matter.

Validation. To know that our presence here is important.

To know that we are very important to that someone. That someone in particular.

Dream, hope, pray…Dream, hope, pray.

Where? Where is ‘It’?

Come here! You demand.

Come here! You plead.

Come. Come. Come!

Still, ‘It’ hasn’t.

Still!

The plan?

Perhaps surrender. Perhaps still remain still.

Perhaps seek fulfilling work. Make a difference, but still.

Be creative, but still.

What else is left?

What else, but to rely on a plan bigger than yourself.

What else?

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Who? Me? – Part 1

“It’s going to take a while but I am going to get there.” Melanie was forceful. Melanie was adamant but was she convincing?

“What are you waiting on?” Cynthia was oh too familiar with saying that phrase to her friend.

Melanie dropped her head looking for the imaginary fist that had just punched her in the gut. She pulled in a long…long, long breath through her nostrils before she projected her eyes on to her old friend.

Cynthia recognized the expression projected on to her and worked to decode it, piece by piece. “So you want ‘It’ right?

There was silence on the other end of the conversation. Only bright, round eyes fixed in her direction. “Um, Melanie. Are you in there girlfriend?”

Melanie took another slow breath before exiting her stupor. “Um…” Gulp! “Yeah…um yeah. Of course I want ‘It’.” Her eyes slipped from her friend’s face to the floor tracing the diagonal design of the tiling pattern.

Soon Melanie’s eyes was tracing the design of Cynthia’s shiny leather pumps. Her friend had snuck up on her without any warning. “Guess what Mel. ‘It’ is reachable. You see it, right?”

 

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Life Passages VII – Enough is Enough

“So are you coming?!” Lila eventually screams, after repeatedly asking Madeleine whether she’d join herself and a group of classmates preparing to bail from school after second period.

“You know, I was thinking…” Madeleine finally replied.

Lila rolls her eyes. “What the hell were you thinking, and why?”

“Well I was thinking, cause I was trying to picture 2 futures. One where I leave with you and “the gang”, and another where I remain true to who I am, and what I know, and stay here and go to class…” Madeleine began to reply

Lila interrupts Madeleine. “You know what Chica, I don’t have time for this, and quite frankly I’m getting really tired of your constant weirdness.” She said in a mocking tone.

Madeleine carefully thought then said flippantly; “You know what? I don’t want to waste anymore of your time…and anymore of mine.” Then looking Lila squarely in the eyes she continued; “Have a great life Lila. See you on the other side of High School. I hope it all works out for Ya!”

With her mouth gapped open, Lila stares at Madeleine as she turns and walks down the school hall way to her next class.

Feeling a sense of pride, and confidence; immediately following her class, Madeleine made an appointment with the school counselor to discuss the best track toward the best colleges, and scholarships. Still she felt as though something was missing. She missed being a part of something, and having companionship. Feeling distracted by this issue, she wondered how to fix what she considered a problem.

Madeleine marched off to the school library with no real solution in sight. For now, she’ll return to her old friendship with books…

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