Tag Archives: misunderstanding

Life Passages XVII-Knowing Her Own Heart

“No, no, no. God, No!” Madeleine sits at the edge of her bed hiding from her parents, the world, and most certainly, Devon. “God, I don’t need this right now.” She whispers, trying to keep her argument with God private. “Do I…Did I feel…What the heck was that?” Madeleine covers her mouth with both hands, startled at her own abrupt outburst.

“I mean, I didn’t see this coming. God did You…wait! What am I asking? Of course you did.” Madeleine allows herself to fall back on to her bed, and covers her face again. Like thoroughbreds racing for a prize, her heart trots at record speed. Her hands slowly slip off of her face. For what seemed like an eternity Madeleine stares at the off-white ceiling. She doesn’t see the ceiling though. Not really. The image of Devon’s face and mannerisms fill her imagination. Her lips curve into a smile. Her mind conjures up images of her and  Devon at his Grandfather’s antique book store, walking along side him from school to her home, at the pizza shop with his friends. Suddenly a picture of Samantha, Devon’s friend who Madeleine deems out-of-this world gorgeous, surfaces immediately quashing Madeleine’s other,  more pleasant thoughts.

Madeleine gags then jerks upright so not to choke on her own saliva. Shaking her head furiously she stands, and begins to pace her woven beige and grey carpet. “Exactly why this can’t be happening God! Clearly there is something between them.” She massages the back of her neck. “Yeah, Devon…Samantha. There is definitely something there.” Madeleine shakes her head vigorously, trying to reset her mind. Then again, commanding it to reboot.

Madeleine speed walks over to her Monarch White Corner Desk. She slides her novel of the week out of her red and black plaid backpack, and in two skips lands on her bed again. With her legs crossed like a pretzel, Madeleine begins to read, and it is not long till she gets lost in the mystery book.

Buzz…buzz. After thirty thought free minutes Madeleine’s concentration is broken. Creases line her forehead as she focuses on the direction of the sound. Buzz…buzz. Madeleine leaps forward and retrieves the white and silver cell phone on her desk, almost hidden underneath her backpack. A text message is waiting for her. Her chest expands in an exaggerated motion with every breath. It is a message from Devon. Hey! Hope you got home okay. Madeleine’s eyes grow large, absorbing the message when a second one rapidly follows it. Are you alright?

Argh! After all the effort Madeleine put into shoving Devon out of her thoughts this Saturday afternoon, this sure does not help. Madeleine’s hands tighten around her phone, almost suffocating it. She peaks at the message once more. Her breaths pick up speed. She walks the width of her room hoping to calm herself down. At the very least to think. After what seemed like five minutes, Madeleine settles back down on to her bed and lays across it. This time on her stomach, she mumbles another prayer. “Am I really alright, God?” A long sigh rises from her belly to her lips “I’m not so sure that even I know.” Madeleine turns over allowing her head to hang off the bed. “So much I want to say, but there is so much that I don’t.”

Madeleine raises her body into a sitting position, her legs extended straight in front of her. She pulls the phone closer to her, along the length of her knees toward her hips. She begins to type. Yup. I am home safe. Thanks. She reads the message again, three times before she hits send. Releasing the mobile gently on to her sheet, she looks upward. “Please help me figure this out…figure out if I’m really alright.”

LifePassages17B (3)

 

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Life Passages XII – Revelation

Madeleine wonders aimlessly through the halls of her high school. She thought she had finally met someone who is more like herself, and unlike the “fake friends” she’d made previously. Yet Devon appears to be another disappointment…a HUGE disappointment. Well, at least according to Madeleine’s current estimation.

Devon stands at the other end of the long corridor. He is surrounded by his basketball team mates, who in chorus, excitedly recount their exploits from the afternoon before. “Man, you missed it!” said the burly, Sean. “Yeah, Dude!” The lanky Chase added. “Where were you anyway?” Chase continued.

Just as Devon is about to answer, he catches a glimpse of Madeleine walking up the crowded hallway. He ignores his team buddies, and begins to move toward her. “Hey man! Where are you going?” He hears the words being hurled toward him. Devon is severely distracted.

“Mads!…Madeleine!” Devon sprints to catch up to Madeleine before she turns the corner down a narrower walkway.

Madeleine hears her name wafting through the air, and slowly turns around in response to it. She notices Devon jogging toward her, and turns again to walk away. “Mads…I…I mean, Madeleine wait up!” Devon calls after her. Madeleine pauses, and slowly swivels toward him. She observes him briefly and tries not to laugh. She thinks the athlete’s  breathless running is sort of hilarious “What Devon? …What is it?” She says, portraying displeasure, and trying to stifle her laughter. “Oh c’mon! Are you still mad at me?” Madeleine shoots Devon a sharp look. “What do you think, genius?” She tells him forcibly. Devon’s eyes widen. “Madeleine, I said I was Sorry! What else do you really want from me?” Madeleine is surprised at how flustered Devon is becoming.

Madeleine thinks quickly. “Is Devon really getting upset about my not ‘surrendering’ to his apology?” Madeleine analyzes Devon’s face. Devon then realizes that Madeleine has stopped speaking, and is staring at him. This somehow calms him. “Mads, look…I…uh…I am not used to having a…um, a Girl for a friend.” Devon spits out awkwardly. “I may hang with the Jocks fine, but deep down I’m a comic book nerd whose trying to balance it all, and just make it through High School without any drama.”

Madeleine bursts out into laughter. Devon is flabbergasted. “What the heck is so funny?” Madeleine laughs harder. Devon continues to question her, even plead with her to explain but her laughter grows uncontrollable. Eventually Madeleine talks through her spastic giggles. “I’m sorry…I see it now…” Madeleine begins. “You come across as this tough jock, but there’s someone else hiding in there.” Devon bows, then shakes his head. “Umph! Well, at least you’re laughing…even if it is at me…it’s an improvement on your previous attitude.”

Madeleine laughs harder and turns again to walk down the narrower hallway to her class. Devon follows, then walks alongside her. “Meet you at Solomon’s bookstore after school?” Devon asks. Madeleine ponders briefly, then asks. “What about B-ball practice?” Devon smiles broadly in response. “I figure, you’ll get so caught up with the leather backs, that you’ll still be there.” Madeleine stifles a giggle, and straightens her expression. “We’ll see…” She tells Devon casually, and appearing aloof. Devon smiles confidently. “See you after school Mads!” Devon tells Madeleine, nods,  then tears apart from walking alongside her to head to his first class for the day.

To Be Continued…

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