Monthly Archives: June 2015

BOOK REVIEW: “He Who Finds A Wife”

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I was minding my own business when the opportunity to review one of Stephan Labossiere‘s new books presented itself. I jumped at the chance since I have been following his snippets of wisdom via Twitter, and Instagram. I am also quite familiar with one of his earlier books written to the ladies entitled, God Where Is My Boaz.

Stephan Labossiere is a certified relationship coach,  speaker and author. He has made it his life’s mission to equip men and women with the tools they require to get out of their own way and cultivate healthy relationships

This time I got the chance to read his discourse with the gentlemen about their approach toward finding/identifying/choosing a wife named, He Who Finds A Wife.  I was initially excited. I got to be “a fly on the wall” as Stephan shares his wisdom with the brothers. I delved in. I particularly appreciated how the book began. The introductory breakdown is helpful to prepare the interested, and educate the cynic.

As I began to read I gradually converted from being excited to being conflicted. You see I am from the old school where Grandma taught, “play hard to get”, and my Father instructed, “the man does the chasing“. So while reading I have to confess that I struggled to connect with Stephan’s definition of “find a wife”. After all, am I not worth the chase?

Still, I continued reading. As I did, I realized that Stephan was actually making great sense. His counsel is also useful for female readers. This insight is applicable for attracting a successful match on the woman’s end as well. Yet, Ladies if you’re reading I suggest that you don’t become sensitive. Be introspective, glean wisdom where necessary, and move on.

All in all, He Who Finds A Wife is an excellent read. I would describe it as sitting on the couch with a therapist who is sitting across from you, and carefully guiding you through. It is a true counseling session. I personally gained ample understanding from Stephan’s ability to strategically dissect each aspect of the book. At some parts the truth stung, BUT at other parts it also provided clarity that is beginning to result in well needed personal transformation.

Therefore men, if you are not seeing results from what you are currently doing to secure a rewarding relationship that leads to marriage,  think you’re just unlucky, or frightened off – since you believe find = chase, chase, chase, I sincerely recommend He Who Finds A Wife by Stephan Labossiere. It will open you up, build you up, and equip you for success.

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Television – My Escape…

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With all the tumultuous incidents going on around the country recently, surrounding police brutality allegedly stemming from racism and racial profiling, I find comfort in watching fictional television to escape from the hateful scenes on the nightly news.

Shows like NBC’s Parenthood (now off the air), which includes an interracial family who is fully and lovingly embraced part of the white Braverman clan begins to restore my faith that we can all exist harmoniously. Other programs like ABC’s Black-ish, and Fresh Off the Boat, personally indicate an America where we are beginning to maturely accept ourselves, accept one-another, embrace diverse cultures, and even chuckle about our differences a bit.

Some may frown on my position, and see it as trifling a large systematic issue in our country, and using fiction to falsely suggest that all is well in America. Well, I am not doing that exactly. Instead I offer that fiction sometimes predicts a coming trend, or outcome.
Beyond on-screen fictional content, even television commercials tend to showcase the landscape of our population with more variety as businesses, fully aware of where the buying power is, seek to get their products sold in every sector.
Does a brown, black or colored face on my television screen solve our race problems? Of course not! The events are a part of a deep rooted problem that requires urgent, and focused attention. – This may not be the answer, but as a minority, it does provide an inch of hope every-time I see someone like me under the glittering lights of the camera. A sense that, in the midst of demonstrations of “old thinking”, we can still forge ahead radically to bring about change.

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The Application Process

Often times we go to church, we hear a message, get excited, even talk about it for hours-on-end following the service – but then the hard part comes. The part where it is time to apply what you heard. 

I have found myself struggling with the “A” word often. I usually instinctively respond in the following ways.

First comes the natural application, where I try and try within my own strength to live up to the instructions I heard on Sunday morning. That is usually followed up by me beating up on myself the instant that I fall short.

Then there are the parts of the sermon that I refuse to reconcile with. Stubborn much? Welcome to my world. I simply could not see how I could surrender a particular area, deep within, or shortcoming (that I didn’t see a problem with in the first place).

What’s worst is when the message simply goes way over my head. Now this is not any fault of the messenger, but my being clueless, at times, as to where I fit into the message. 

Well, over the last number of Sundays as Pastor Jumaine, Pastor Rob and others have been delivering what seemed like gold, straight from heaven. Since the DECISION NOW series began, I was intent on listening and applying in a way that would be effective. Of course, my initial reaction was to respond as I typically do, but this series was way too valuable, and way too life-changing.

So what did I do? I prayed like I had not before. I decided that applying what I heard was going to be up to God this time. I began to be completely honest with God about every convicting message point that I believed referred to me. I also asked Him to reveal and perform surgery on the other aspects that I was blind to. 

It was not that easy to come face-to-face with areas in my heart, mind, and even flesh, that was boldly called-out on the pulpit.
 
However, I believe that when all is said and done, I will be better, stronger and more able to impact the world and advance the Kingdom of God. 

Actually, that is what Pastor James Marshall left with me on a recent Sunday. In His final prayer as He asked the Lord to help us apply the word spoken. It really rang home to me; God has to have a major part in the application process. Just – Let Him – Do It!

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:13 NLT)

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